I Thought I Knew How to Lead...Until I Had a Baby
- Marcy Stoudt
- Jul 16
- 3 min read
In my 20s, I quickly climbed the corporate ladder to the Vice President ranks because I knew how to set clear expectations in a way that inspired results from each member of my team. And, since I was surrounded by men (my boss, my peers & most my direct reports), I learned how to adapt my approach in a way that fostered commitment, accountability, and trust. For the first 10 years of my career, this ability to set clear expectations and adapt my style was proven to be my strength.
Then I met Katie. She was defiant, unrelenting in her demands, and irrational. My orderly day became exhausting. But like a good manager, I would adjust my strategies to win. I told Katie of my expectations and many reasons why these expectations were in her best interest. But, she didn’t care. Finally, in a fit of exasperation, I looked at her and decried, “I need a nap, can’t you go to sleep?” Katie simply laid there in her bassinet kicking her feet and making noise. From the day of her birth, Katie had other ideas. I planned naps, she gurgled. I planned to finish the laundry, she wailed.
I discovered that being a mother is the most complicated thing I had ever done. The adjustment from 0 kids to 1 was by far my biggest challenge. Throughout the days and nights, I’d read the books and magazine articles, I’d ask mothers of all ages for advice. Instead of trusting my motherly instincts, I buried myself in the advice of other experts looking for any solution.
Fortunately, my own mother didn’t fall into my endless trap of questions: “Should I let her cry it out or let her sleep in my bed?” My mom simply said: “Marcy, all your baby wants is a loving smile from a happy mom. If you prioritize things that make you happy, you’ll find Katie will mirror your happiness.” It was like magic. My husband and I hired a nanny and went on dates. I committed to meditation and mindfulness.
I stopped judging myself for not recognizing my perfect baby didn’t like to sleep. I've learned that it’s the moments rather than the expectations that really count.
18 years later, my beautiful daughter, who is in college, still doesn't like to sleep.
P.S. The other piece of advice was from my grandmother. She loved this saying so much that she crafted a needlepoint picture and framed the advice in her kitchen: “A clean house is the sign of a boring wife!”
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Marcy Stoudt is a seasoned sales leader dedicated to shaping the future of talent acquisition and executive coaching. As the founder of Revel Search and Revel Coach, Marcy collaborates with corporate clients to develop innovative strategies for attracting, advancing, and retaining top-tier talent.
During her 22 years at Allegis Group, Marcy was TEKsystems's first female Vice President. She led a team of 300 producers and delivered four consecutive years of revenue results at 18% CAGR, averaging $320 million annually. While at MarketSource, she established the Customer Experience Strategy for the Target Mobile outsourced sales team at 1,540 Target locations, fostering executive-level relationships with Target and Apple.
The Revel Coach™ Blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not mental health, financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any medical, mental or emotional condition. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content.
