How Emotional Intelligence Transforms the Way You Lead (and the Energy You Create)
- Marcy Stoudt
- Nov 13
- 3 min read
“The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example.” – John Wooden
Let’s start with a truth every leader knows deep down: the higher you rise, the less your success depends on what you do, and the more it depends on how you show up.
In the chaos of deadlines, demands, and decisions, it’s not just your words people remember. It’s your energy.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) often gets tossed around like a buzzword. But when you really understand it, you realize: EQ isn’t just a “soft skill.” It’s a scalable skill. And it might be the most underrated lever in your leadership toolbox.
The 5 Components of EQ
Daniel Goleman identified five key components that shape emotional intelligence:
Self-Awareness: Knowing what you’re feeling and why.
Self-Regulation: Managing those emotions with intention.
Motivation: Being driven by purpose, not pressure.
Empathy: Sensing and respecting what others feel.
Social Skills: Connecting in ways that inspire and align.
You don’t have to master them all equally. The goal is awareness of each of the five components and knowing which “muscle” to flex when the moment calls for it.
Motivation: Pressure vs. Purpose
Before we go further, check yourself against this:
Take a look at your calendar from last week. What would it say about your leadership?
Were you driving results, or developing people who drive results on their own?
There’s a powerful shift that happens when we understand the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation:
People driven by external rewards need constant reminders. They run on your pressure.
But people who find meaning in the work? They drive themselves. That’s the highest form of leadership: building teams that operate not because they have to, but because they want to.
Ask yourself: Are you building a company that runs on your pressure…or on your people’s purpose?
Bringing EQ to Life: The ABOVE CENTER® Model
This is where emotional intelligence becomes real.
The Above Center® Principle gives leaders and teams a shared language for energy and emotion. It helps you:
Catch yourself before you slip into frustration or blame
Regulate your energy in the moment
Model calm and clarity so others follow suit
You can’t regulate what you don’t recognize. And when you move “above center,” you create a ripple effect of trust, clarity, and connection.
Ready to Lead Above Center?
Your calendar will always reflect the work you do.
But your legacy?
That’s written in energy and in how people experience you.
So again, the final question is simple:
Are you building a company that runs on your pressure…or your people’s purpose?
Want to take this back to your team?
Easy, share this article with them! Want to dive deeper? Let’s talk about how the ABOVE CENTER® framework can help your leaders not just perform better, but make everyone around them better. Learn more at therevelcompanies.com.
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Marcy Stoudt is a seasoned sales leader dedicated to shaping the future of talent acquisition and executive coaching. As the founder of Revel Search and Revel Coach, Marcy collaborates with corporate clients to develop innovative strategies for attracting, advancing, and retaining top-tier talent.
During her 22 years at Allegis Group, Marcy was TEKsystems's first female Vice President. She led a team of 300 producers and delivered four consecutive years of revenue results at 18% CAGR, averaging $320 million annually. While at MarketSource, she established the Customer Experience Strategy for the Target Mobile outsourced sales team at 1,540 Target locations, fostering executive-level relationships with Target and Apple.
The Revel Coach™ Blog is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not mental health, financial, business or legal advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any medical, mental or emotional condition. The information presented here is not a guarantee that you will obtain any results or earn any money using our content.
